In other news

Outside of the family situation with its mounting chaos and sad overtones I've found myself strangely at peace. I've sought out fulfilling situations and activities in the past few weeks.

I've willingly engaged people and situations on a more honest, intuitive and intimate basis. I've drank coffee and held long conversations with others about experiences, movies, news, and books.

I went to the theater on Sunday and saw a play. I have not done that since 1999 when I saw a local theater company's mediocre production of Our Town. This time I went to the metro theater with an honest-to-goodness professional production company.

I also continue to watch movies. Recently I watched Diner and Ingmar Berman's Wild Strawberries (dare I say) for the first time. A couple of more Berman films sit in my Que.

These activities constitute a small renaissance for me personally. For a while my life had become routine. My thoughts were filled with maudlin self-reflection. I lost any real creative spark. Life was drab. I did nothing more than work, meet, eat, and go home.

I don't know how long this feeling will last or where it may take me, but I feel personally fulfilled and able to contribute instead of simply taking up space and waiting.

Oh, and tomorrow, I start running outside. Three weeks without smoking and the gym is getting boring.

Comments

[Tiffany PinkDog]

Yay for still not smoking! But running OUTSIDE? Isn't it cold out there? Dude, that's hardcore.

And yay for sister's baby on the way! Yeah, it sounds like a less-than-perfect situation, but we tend to forget what an awesomely amazing thing it is that a girl can grow a whole other human inside of her. It's neat! And a blessing, too, as cheesy as that sounds.

[Limon]

You are becoming the picture of health, physical and otherwise. You should totally run a self-help seminar. (I'd probably come to it.)

Congrats on the uncle thing.

[Scoop]

Yeah, being an uncle won't be too bad, accepting the fact that my little sis is retarded. I mean that in a lighthearted, most congenial way.

And Limon, were you being sarcastic? Cause really, self help? Are you kidding? I'm so neurotic it ain't even funny. I just write these things down so I remember that times really aren't ALWAYS that bad in my brain.