Friday evening after work I hopped on the treadmill at the gym and I ran. And I ran. Then I lifted some weights. I skipped the abdominal crunch machine. I went home.
On the way home I called someone I usually call on a daily basis. The conversation went differently than planned. The person on the other end was in full crisis mode. The crisis involved the person on the other end of the phone about as much as it did me. I haven't been able to convince this person of this fine distinction yet. They continue to attempt to understand and interject. They remain involved in a situation in which they constantly get burned.
This lead me to this full realization: I don't have to go there too. This is not my life. The problem is the other person's. It is this person who continues to make foolish decisions and to live a tragic life. It is the crisis of the person who adopts the foolish person's crisis. The crisis is not mine. My only crisis is of my own making.
I hung up after I listened and said very little. I fixed dinner. I ate. I over ate late in the evening with friends. I decided for Friday I felt a bit of zen. If I keep eating the way I do I'm going to develop a belly like Buddha.
My life is good.
And the smoking?
Posted by: Scott | Saturday, January 20, 2007 at 03:14 AM
As of today it has been 13 days since my last smoke. Tomorrow . . . two whole weeks. The lozenges are really helping curb the cravings.
Posted by: Scoop | Saturday, January 20, 2007 at 09:45 PM
Two weeks of not-smoking. That's awesome! When I was quitting (in 2001) it was at about 2 weeks that I began hacking my guts up every time I did anything that involved increased lung capacity--even just hoofing it across campus for class. That was my poor lungs hacking up all the tar and stuff that was in them. It was my lungs coming back to life.
Yay for live lungs!
I know what you mean about other people's dramas, and how it feels like it's your drama, and it affects you almost as such. The lesson you are teaching yourself right now is one I have been struggling to learn for ages. I cannot seem to learn it. I, like, VOLUNTEER to carry other Schmoes's baggage. Why can I not learn?
Posted by: Tiffany PinkDog | Sunday, January 21, 2007 at 09:15 AM
It is so easy to do Tif, picking up other people's drama. This is especially true for me when I don't have actual drama of my own. The weekend was much worse. I put a moritorum on visiting with said people in this post -- and then I broke the moritorum.
I won't say I was directly involved, but I did try to dispense some advice. This was a mistake. The crisis maker and crisis adopter know I am correct, but are unwilling to take action. So, I'm just going to redouble my efforts to stay the hell out of the way.
Oh, and not smoke and try not to throw up a lung, which I did Sunday at the gym, as I ran. Awesome.
Posted by: Scoop | Monday, January 22, 2007 at 12:10 PM